Five Hundred Eyes

Nice People to do Business With

who to blame for what just went before

This is the page where I get to thank all those wonderful wonderful people without whom, etc, etc. So without further ado, could I have the gold envelope please Esther? Thank you ...

Without Jackie Roe the world would be a dull place indeed. Her presence has brightened up many a dull convention, for which we are almost ready to forgive her the more unsavoury aspects of her personal life, which include Star Trek, HHGTTG and Robin of Sherwood.

Without Jontahan Burt Five Hundred Eyes would have been devoid of 'serious', 'deep' and 'heavy' articles for some years now. A student at York University, Jonathan devotes much of his time to developing a seriously weird reputation, which is only to be expected of someone who edits his own Blake's Seven zine.

Without Name Removed Due to Embarrassment and Shaun Ley this issue would be substantially cheaper to post. I would libel them further, but I've never met them. I suspect that they may be Stephen O'Brien having me on.

Without Nicole Clapp, self-confessed Agent of Weirdness, my life would be very much louder, for it was she who managed to remove Richard to America for two consecutive summers. Thank you Nicole.

Without Ian Berriman there probably wouldn't be a Five Hundred Eyes today. Frequently over the last twelve months I've considered jacking it all in and becoming a Real Person, but just then a letter or phone call from Ian, demanding, with menaces, to know when issue five will be out and what the *** has happened to his once-topical article will startle me back into work.

Without Jamie Woolley, the Easter vacation would have been wretched. No sooner had I been separated from my true-love and had started to pine than Jamie walks unexpectedly through the door (unexpected because he lives 150 miles away) and brightens up my life. Thank you Jamie for the walks, the company, and the entertainment on Tuesday night in the Tudor Inn.

Without Ian Levy this zine would have reached you six months ago. He has managed to raise prevarication and procrastination to an art-form, his disrespect for deadlines matched only by his terror of actually working for a living. Libelling Ian is only too easy, but if you imagine Che Guevara crossed with Toulouse Latrec, you might just come close.

Without Paddy Sinclair there would be nothing. For enthusiasm beyond the call of duty, you just cannot compete with Paddy. His sterling help with typing, Microsoft Word and writing long articles about how much he hates Dr Who fans have meant that this issue reaches you several years before it would have done had it been left to just me.

the editorWithout the University of St Andrews I would have had much more time to spend on FHE this year, but as it's their computers I'm using, I shouldn't complain. Just so long as they give me a degree I don't mind.

And finally, I would just like to thank everyone else who knows me for whatever it is that you think you might have done to contribute towards the publication of this zine. Would you believe that this page honestly wasn't intended as a filler? No, really. It just turned out that way.

Issue five contents
Five Hundred Eyes index